HA, SYMBOLISM OF MY RESOLUTION

Madhu was asking me what is my new year’s resolution for 08, and I evaded the answer by telling her my last year’s resolution was not to have a resolution and am still sticking on to it. But I haven’t stopped thinking, if I had to take a resolution then what would it be. No surprise, there would be numerous choices; what is a resolution? It’s what you want to do but you don’t end up doing, in my case the list never ends. So, my mind was racing last nite through all the options – diet, exercise, waking up early in the morning, healthy lifestyle, spend less, study more, start my CFA, stick to a time table, be more active and something was missing. Something which I do a lot, something I want to reduce, that which puts me in all the trouble, that something which creates most of the problem. With this thoughts running in my head and the cough syrup pushing me to sleep, I close my eyes. For some weeks now, I never had sweet dreams; there is always an uncertain dream which I don’t remember when I wake up. These dreams for sure are not pleasant, it’s about bombs and running, mostly from the PC games I play. Then there would be a few dreams with sindhu, I don’t really remember what they were either, but I do remember that couple of nights back she kissed me. I felt good when I woke up – but then also stupid. Anyway, this morning I woke up for the alarm at 8.30 for a change, something was not right, that something I was doing all this while, I couldn’t do it anymore, it hurts when I try to do it. OMG!!! Now it all settles in, now I realise what it is, I can’t talk!! Yeah, sore throat, it kills me to even moan. This is it, the whole day I dint talk to anyone, feels good. My mouth is the reason for all the problems I stuff myself into, right from the cow in school till my last ever problem I can think of. Symbolism of my resolution!! So, I guess am gonna try talking less, flirting is allowed though – I can’t live without that of course.

"In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth." - Mahatma Gandhi.